Happy, healthy marriage is important…but where can I find one?Most Texans (90%) agree that a “healthy, happy marriage is one of the most important things in life.” However, half of those surveyed (50%) indicated that they know of very few people who have “good and healthy marriages.” These responses were the same regardless of ethnic background, age group, or gender. However, a higher percentage (68%) of the people in the sample who were cohabiting (meaning unmarried but living together) reported that they know of “few good and healthy marriages.” The unmarried people in the survey gave us a glimpse at understanding how important healthy marriage is by 86% of them indicating that they “would rather not be married if it meant being in a mediocre marriage.”This pessimism about the prevalence of good marriages is curious given the previously reported finding that the majority of respondents are happy in their marriages and believe they are with a nearly perfect partner. Granted, couples in love may tend to see their own relationships though rose-colored lenses. Perhaps when people look at the relationships of others they more easily see problems instead of strengths. With all the attention to the struggles and pit falls of family life it may be difficult to see the positive sides. The more you knowThe education level of respondents had an influence on how they thought about marriage and family relationships. Generally speaking those with more education reported that they “know very few good healthy marriages.” Given this, it makes sense that they also tend to agree that living together before marriage is a good thing. Additionally, they tend to believe that it should not take “extreme circumstances” for one to break a marriage commitment.The more education one has also influences how people think about the relationship between having children and being married. For example, people with higher levels of education in the survey were less likely to believe that having a child together is good enough reason to marry someone. In many respects, these are curious findings. From national research (Centers for Disease Control Prevention – National Center for Health Statistics, July 2002), it is known that there is an “education gap” in marriage and divorce. Individuals with higher education tend to be more likely to marry and substantially less likely to divorce. Educated Americans are more likely to be around other educated Americans who are more likely to be in stable, healthy marriages. Despite this demographic reality, educated Texans report they know very few good marriages. An ongoing national study of high school seniors indicates that a good, stable marriage remains a central goal for the majority of Americans, but younger Americans also are less optimistic than in the past of their abilities to achieve that goal. Perhaps that personal pessimism also colors how they perceive others’ marriages. Plus, given the very high standards that people hold for marriages these days, perhaps any visible problem in a marriage is enough to prove the perception that few good marriages exist. Harris, S.M., Glenn, N.D, Rappleyea, D.L., Diaz-Loving, R., Hawkins, A.J., Daire, A. P., Osborne, C., & Huston, T.L. (2008). Twogether in Texas: Baseline Report on Marriage in the Lone Star State. Austin, TX: Health and Human Services Commission.
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