Divorce Experiences and AttitudesDivorce is a serious problemLike their counterparts across the United States, most Texans believe that divorce is a serious problem, with 89% agreeing that marriage should be a “lifelong commitment” and should only be broken under “extreme circumstances.” When asked if most divorces “happen for a good reason,” 63% disagreed. Of the respondents who experienced their own divorce, 23% indicated a lack of commitment as the major reason why their marriage did not last.Six of one, half dozen of the other?When asked if a bad marriage is worse than a divorce Texans were split right down the middle with 50% agreeing and 50% disagreeing. It appears that no one wants to be in a bad marriage, and no one really wants to go through a divorce either. Recent statewide surveys in Oklahoma and Utah suggest that a substantial number of divorcees express regrets that they and/or their partner did not work harder to try and repair their marriage.In addition, research from the National Survey of Families and Households found that most unhappily married people who can hold on through the tough times report a few years later that they are happy. It may also be that Texans are sensitive to the potential toll that divorce takes on families and children. Unfortunately it is difficult to explain the exact origin of why the sample responded the way they did. This might point to the need for more understanding of what divorce can and cannot do in moving people from unhealthy situations to more healthy and stable relationships in the future. Breaking up is hard to doBoth guilt and the presence of children seem to be factors that affect one’s willingness to end a relationship. Forty percent (40%) of the sample reported that they “would never leave” their partner because they “would feel guilty about letting” their partner down. This was the case regardless of the particular group under consideration. Thirty-three percent (33%) reported they “could never leave because” they “would feel as though” they “had let their children down.” This was particularly the case among the younger respondents (37%) when compared to the older cohort (29%).Reasons for divorceThose Texans who had been divorced were asked a series of questions about their reasons for divorce. Specifically, these participants were asked to respond to a series of possible reasons and indicate whether it was a “major reason,” a “minor reason,” or “not a reason” why they divorced.The most common reasons the group of Texans gave for divorce seem to be a departure from what has been listed in much of the divorce literature as main causes for divorce. Harris, S.M., Glenn, N.D, Rappleyea, D.L., Diaz-Loving, R., Hawkins, A.J., Daire, A. P., Osborne, C., & Huston, T.L. (2008). Twogether in Texas: Baseline Report on Marriage in the Lone Star State. Austin, TX: Health and Human Services Commission.
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